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3 Actions You Should Never Do To People

June 28th, 2008


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The following blog is inspired by Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends & Influence People

Have you ever thought about catching flies with vinegar?

It will not work. It just won’t… They simply don’t like it. It’s bitter and the smell is far too strong.

You and I are like that too. There’s 3 actions you and I do not like that taste…well…bitter!

And here they are:

  1. We do not like to be criticized.
  2. We do not like to be condemned.
  3. We do not like when people complain. (especially if it’s about us!)

And if someone performs one of these actions again you, you will likely justify yourself and save face, right?

I’m sure you have heard of Al Capone, America’s best known gangster and the primary greatest symbol of the collapse of law and order in the 1920s. Well known for his ruthless murders, Capone once said:

“I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time.”

Even he didn’t criticize, condemn or complain about himself as doing so would have left a dreadfully bitter taste in his mouth.

If Capone didn’t blame himself for anything, what about the people we meet and come into contact with on a daily basis? Know this well: Most people will NOT blame themselves for anything at all that goes wrong.

It’s always “external circumstances” or “peer pressure” or “another person’s fault.” Remember this next time you are about to criticize, condemn or complain about someone.

And remember this: Criticism puts people on the defensive and forces a person to justify themselves in something they have done. Criticize them and they will feel resentment toward you.

What we want is approval, not a bunch criticism and complaining.

Abraham Lincoln once said:

“With malice toward none, with charity to all.”

Instead of criticizing, condemning or complaining about people, why not get to know them and understand them better? They won’t resent you for that and they may help you in a big way.

And if you have not read How to Win Friends & Influence People, I suggest you head over to your local bookstore and pick it up because it will improve your human relationship skills dramatically and the price tag is under $15. If you prefer to buy it online and have it delivered to your door step, I recommend amazon. I have included a link below:

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